The American Idolater

So, as pretty much every single person on the planet expected — once Melinda was voted off — Jordin Sparks won American Idol.

The spoilers were a little off, no Sherman Pore performance. All of the other performances were really good, though, much better than I’m used to hearing on American Idol. Ok, maybe not Gwen Stefani, I fast forwarded through her song. I wonder who she had to sell her soul to in order to get what seems like a weekly spot performing on AI. Seriously, this season just had the most random collection of people performing on the show (e.g., Green Day), many of whom gave some of the worst performances I’ve ever heard in my entire life (e.g., Michael Buble, Akon). Just weird and random.

And is Joe Perry from Aerosmith the sloppiest and most boring guitar player in the country? I think he’s a strong contender. I was either cringing or bored through pretty much everything he was playing. I guess it’s better than Chris Daughtry’s guitar work last night, where they had his guitar completely muted so you couldn’t hear what he was doing. That’s a good sign that they think you suck.

But otherwise the performances were really good. The top 6 guys with Smokey Robinson? Awesome. That was the best some of those guys have ever sounded. The top 6 girls with Gladys Knight? Equally awesome. Blake with Doug E Fresh? Very cool. Tony Bennett, Bette Midler, Taylor Hicks, Carrie Underwood, Green Day? All good. It’s not enough to make up for having to sit through Michael Buble and Akon (twice with the Akon!) but it’s much better than I’ve been expecting.

But anyway. Congratulations Jordin Sparks. Congratulations to Blake and Melinda, too, for being awesome. Once you’re in the top 3 it really doesn’t matter who wins, in my opinion. All of them will get record deals and get a good shot a music career.

So… now what do I write about for the next year? It’s going to be like a ghost town around here. Antonella Barba better get naked again soon!