The American Idolater

Ok, the girls turn. Not nearly as good as the guys. And all around pretty boring, even including the guys. Is it just me, or is this crop of contestants just not as interesting or talented as the contestants we’ve had in past seasons? I wonder if all of their “best top 24 ever” hype is trying to distract people from how boring they all are.

Speaking of boring, we start the night off with Carly Smithson. She has a good voice, and she does much better than last week, but I just can’t conjure up strong opinions about Carly. She’s just a little too boring, that’s all, and no matter how much pimping the judges do, she’ll still be boring.

Syesha Mercado — I like Syesha, and thought she did pretty well this week. I’m not sure what the judges didn’t like about that, except that Randy Jackson seems to be dead set on getting some shouting out of her. Apparently she didn’t sing loudly enough for him. Poor Randy, suffering hearing loss at such a young age. But, as one of the better contestants in the show, naturally Syesha appears to have gotten very few votes, being pretty much tied for last place according to DialIdol (along with Kady and Alaina.)

Brooke White — I hate to say it, but Brooke was the best of the night. I still can’t get over Brooke White’s weird and confusing no R-rated movie thing, but I’ve already ranted about that. So I’ll just say best of the night and leave it at that.

Ramiele Malubay — Ramiele goes uptempo this week to proactively fight against any potential Lullabye nicknames. Not a great choice. It’s not that it’s bad, it’s just that the song doesn’t let her do much. So it winds up being completely forgettable.

Kristy Lee Cook — Ah, KKKristy, how I’ve missed you and your freakish eye mannerisms. Sadly, her eyes don’t do much interesting this week. Her singing is a bit better, but now it’s just moved up to boring and forgettable. And her big surprise from her interview segment isn’t about how she lied about selling her horse so she could audition, it’s that — brace yourselves — she likes horses and the outdoors. Shocking. Forgettable interview clip, forgettable singing. Good thing she’s the hottest girl left, or she’d be in even bigger trouble.

Amanda Overmyer — Oh crap. Jumping Jesus Christ Superstar, that was bad. Holy crap. That might go down in history as the worst American Idol performance ever when voting was on the line. I don’t want to go back and replay any Sanjaya performances to make sure, but wow, that was up there.

And then the hair, just ghastly, to borrow a Simonism. You’re a little late for Halloween, Amanda. Caked-on makeup, horrible bad singing. Wow, that was pretty much the definition of a train wreck. Probably guarantees she’s going home tonight, right? Not according to DialIdol, which says she was the top vote-getter of the night. I guess Vote For the Worst really rallied behind her? Either that or DialIdol is just going nuts this year, which doesn’t seem completely out of the question…

Alaina Whitaker — I think Alaina is one of the best of the young blonde girls who all blur together in your head. Too bad she didn’t do a whole lot to stand out, and is at the very bottom of the DialIdol results, probably in danger of going home tonight. What kind of disturbing world is this where Alaina will go home before Amanda? Come on, Barack Obama, this is a sure sign that this country needs large heaping tablespoons of your trademarked Change that I’ve heard so much about.

Alexandrea Lushington — The lazy side of me wants Alexandrea to go home, just because that’s a long freaking name to type out (and it doesn’t flow from your fingers onto the keyboard the way more common names do.) But I like her and want her to stick around, even if I didn’t think her performance was anything memorable. Hopefully she does.

Kady Malloy — I’m glad that they keep showing Kady’s Britney Spears impersonation, because otherwise I’d keep forgetting who she is. And I’m only half-kidding here. Wow, what a forgettable girl. Sorry, Kady. And the performance would have been forgettable if Simon hadn’t followed it up by saying he’s never heard the song before. Are you freaking kidding me? Don’t you work in the music industry, Simon? Aren’t you old enough to have been alive and listening to music when “Magic Man” was a big hit? As opposed to all of the contestants, who would only know the song because, you know, it’s played on the radio all the time and comes from a classic album that everyone knows? What the hell? My faith in Simon Cowell is diminishing each week.

Asia’h Epperson — Is it wrong of me to want Asia’h to go home because I hate her name? Seriously, every time I see “Asia’h” on my screen I want to claw my eyes out. What a screwed up name. Poor girl. Her vocals were pretty good, better than the average for the night, but in the end, just not memorable enough to make a difference.

So, in the end, my favorite performances were Brooke and Syesha. And nobody even came close to giving Amanda a run for the worst performance.

Predictions? Kady’s going home, and probably Jason Yeager. Amanda should go home, but probably won’t. Maybe we’ll get lucky and Luke Menard will go. Robbie Carrico should go home, but like I said yesterday, I still want to see his wig fly off his head while he’s trying to headbang to prove that, no really, he really is a rock guy.