Top 12 Guys
And we’re off. The first “real” episode of the show, with voting and everything. Here’s what I think, which is obviously what’s right and correct and if you don’t think this way, you’re a poopie-head.
Rudy Cardenas: Yikes. Not good at all. There was a lot of mumbling, and at times I couldn’t tell if he was forgetting the words or that was just the way he was singing. He has energy, but that’s about it. Not very good.
Brandon Rogers: Brandon just bores me. Sorry, but that’s the way it is. This performance was no exception. I took a refreshing little nap during it.
Sundance Head: It really does feel like he’s gotten this far based on his awesome first audition, because I haven’t seen anything good out of him since then. Knights in White Satin didn’t change that at all. Sometimes funny, but not good.
Paul Kim: Not amazing, but the best of the night so far.
Chris Richardson: Eww. He needs to stop bobbing up and down so the cameraman can keep his Timberlake head in frame without making the viewers seasick. He also needs to sing less nasally and be better.
Nick Pedro: I remember seeing him last night, but I don’t remember anything about his performance. I’m going to assume that means it was in the huge pile of boring-ass performances and move on.
Blake Lewis: Hey, now we’re talking. Awesome. Who knew that he could actually sing? Probably the judges and the AI editors and producers, but that’s about it, because, as he says, we haven’t had a chance to see him sing yet. I can’t believe Randy was trying to talk him into beatboxing every week. Is Randy taking some of Paula’s drugs? That’s crazy talk. Stick with the singing, Blake.
Sanjaya Malakar: Not very good. Bland and boring. I doubt he’ll get voted off just yet, but he deserves to go soon unless he gets five times better in the next two weeks.
Chris Sligh: Very good. I’m not sure what was wrong with Ryan Seacrest last night, he just seemed intent on getting some kind of rise out of Simon. Lover’s spat, I guess. Or maybe the producers decided that some of that bickering was memorable last season and asked him to force it this year? Who knows; I just know it was weird and left a sour note on Chris’s otherwise excellent performance.
Jared Cotter: Wow. That was bad. He made up some new notes and insisted on showing them off last night. Painful. I’m surprised the judges were as positive as they were about that. Easily the worst singing of the night.
AJ Tabaldo: Not bad. A little boring, but a big step up from Jared.
Phil Stacey: He freaked me out with his weird head and eyes at the beginning of the song, and I agree with Simon (and him) that it wasn’t that good at the beginning, but got better later on. Also a big improvement over his audition, which was pretty weak.
Anyone disagree? You can leave your opinions in the comments, but just keep in mind that you are completely wrong.